Random Thoughts

i realised today that people irritate me way too easily. i also realised that there is a guy that i would consider kissing on my bus. hmmmmmmm when did my mind decide this i wonder? i also realised that i need to go out more to meet more 'people' but then i realised there's nowhere to go and no one wants to meet me. then i realised life sucks right now but im over it so i smile and realise i just missed my bus stop.












shit

Current Mood: cold
Current Music: Norah Jones

Easter is a time that should be spent with family
why then do people insist on coming inot my shop at 8.59pm when i want to lock the doors and then they sit down and eat, not just one meal but threee!!!!!!!.
People are odd creatures
But i love easter and im not even meaning the chocolate. i love because i have actually seen my dad this weekend and ive also seen my mother. this makes me happy.
but you what sucks? damn boy!! soooosweet to me but nothing more! damn damn damn!!!!
hahahaha shouldnt complain really! what do i expect?

Current Mood: flirty
Current Music: radio

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everythings all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone!

This song seems to sum up my life or at least how i feel right about now

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Boulevard of Broken Dreams- Greenday

I dont know how to tell you anything anymore.
im sorry for trying.
but just to let a few people know a few things:
im not acting like im the victim
i dont ask people to talk to you they do it because they care
i dont even know what i did this time but i sure would like to
i dont want an apology nor do i expect one
im not going to apologise until i know what it is ive done and then mayb i will
im sick of this
people shit me. majorly
and just so you know none ofthe abovew was spiteful or angry, im just clarifying and if u dont like it then i dont care anymore.

Current Mood: blah

Right now i need to talk to you. badly.
im not sure whats going on but i want to know
i value our friendship and i would give my life for you guys and i just wantyou to know that.
i am truly sorry if i have done something to hurt you in any way and whatever i have done i want to make it better.
please talk to me so i can at least try.

Current Mood: please

does anyone actually know what the meaning of life is?
its hard really coz in the end it is kinda pointless and im not sad about that but i do think that there must b some point to it all. surely.

Current Mood: thinking
Current Music: ABC- jacksons

So at the moment i really hate you. yes hate is a strong word and yes i hate you. u are soo whiny and complaining and u know what? not everything happens because of u!!!!!
that is all

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: home and away!!!

so im ina good mood right about now. how bout u?
actually im kinda bored but apart from that im good.
i hate the woman we had for commerce today! argh! i was like shut up fool!
then i had maths and that was crap. i dont get probability and there isnt even anything to get yet!!!
yep u act like nothing is changed when it suits dont u. u are the only thing that ruins my day
hey well im gonna watch the oc so bye bye all

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: American Idiot- Greenday

u asked and so i told u and then u cut me down. next time dont ask. its easy really.
u dont care anyway if u di ud change it but u dont so u didnt.
im really pissed off with u right now and no im not gonna say why.
y bother pretending? ur not good at it.

Current Mood: cranky

im not sure what to say anymore and how to act. i feel uncomfortable and its hard.
i need to talk to you but im just gonna sound like a fool so i dont want to but i do.
i feel kinda used. im only good enough when no one else is there. i dont think thats fair. maybe u do. stupidest thing about this is that u wont even read it or if u do u wont know its about u! but i guess thats kinda how i want it. kinda being the operative word.
apart from the above
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEC! (i know its late but i havnt been on!)
YAY BEC! OUR RICE SHIT WENT GOOD!!!!!! OH YEAH I GUESS JO HELPED BUT IT WOULD HAV BEEN BETTER IF U DIDNT PUT THE FLOUR IN THE OIL!!! GEEZ JO!!
im quite the bored! i realise now that i hav a journal that my life is not interesting.
at all!
oh but i did get to se dave my cuz last night and that was totally freaky!
i havent seen him for like 8 years and then i was like wow! ur tall and old!! im short and childish!! ah ull get over it!!! he was fun tho!!
i was so sad on the bus coz they played songs that were a coupla years old and i was like oh i miss england and my friends! i wanna go back!!!! i really miss them and i was soo sad and i would love it if i could transport everyone over here or spend half a year there and half a one here! ah the memories that i have!!
but enough of that and have a good weekend everyone!!

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: John Mayer

i dont really know what to think or do. im not sure whether its my fault and if it is im sorry.
i hate trials but theyre over now so thats good!
oh well im smiley! i shouldnt b sad i have sooo much to b grateful for!
my dad was an absolute sweetie today! he wished me luck and gave me a hug before i left! my dad is not very emotional and so this was a big thing for him! i was soo happy!
im soo bored!
and u wont tell me who it is and tht just makes me think that its me even more. i cried lots.
on a different note i love all my friends, thanks guys for being the wonderful people tht u r!!! you are my idols!!! and yes sami u r still my hero!!
not much to write about really so im gonna stop

Current Mood: yep its a first!
Current Music: Maroon 5

i hate this hate hate hate hate hate hate
no one gets it do they?
fuck u, fuck ur 'life'
its not easy to sit here watching u. it hurts. alot. more than i think u realise. i am trying but u wont let me in and so what can i do?
huh? what? help me.
no one understands me. they just go oh but u r funny, u r pretty everyone loves u. they so obviously dont so stop lying to me. i know the truth anyway.no one wants to b me and no one wants to tell me the truth.
i hate this

Current Mood: angry

fuck life
i hate this and i hate you
you take everything that i love and turn them away from me
uve done it before and its happening again
my life will soon be over and its because of u!
u make everyday worse
its not even my fault this time
i try. i try really hard to be perfect. everyone wants me to be perfect but i just cant.
i cant do it andi wont. im sick of trying. i hate being the one that everyone goes oh its just kels or u wouldnt understand, you cant sympathise. mayb i could if u gave me a chance
i found out today that my primary school teacher died. she had a massive stroke and she was younger than my mum. she just had a headache and went to get some tea and she just died. i cried for soo long.
she left a daughter who has to do her hsc and a son who is in yr 8 or 7. how can this be the right thing?
i cant beleive in a god who would let this happen.
i cant beleive in a god who would let my life b like this

Current Mood: depressed

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im such a fuckhead! Why is it that i screw everything up?
goddammit!!! she seemed so nice and worried but then she just goes and takes the information and fucks with the most beautiful person ever!
i would so hit u if i met u!
i dont even know if i can do anything about it!
and im so nervous about tonite! i dont like this whole karaoke thing anymore. im not singing.
but i wish jo and shani the best birthday ever! love u guys! have fun!
and thanks kathleen for being so tolerant with me! im sorry!
actually i probably owe evryone an apology so guys im really sorry
sorry for all the stuff i do wrong
sorry for bringing u down
sorry for just being me
im really really sorry
i just wish i could be the perfect person and that u would talk to me and let me help.
i hat watching u sad, i hate reading this and thinking 'maybe if i was better shed tell me and i could help' and its not just u, everyone seems to have something and i just wish that i was good enough for u to tell me
but im still sorry

Current Mood: sad

So i wanna know why do i have to be me?
being someone else would b sooo much easier!
i look into the mirror and see someone who is ugly, stupid, and just plain eeew!
y is this?
i would love to be a gorgeous, intelligent, funny person but it just aint happening!
y is this?
ARGH!!! i hate being me and i wish i wasnt!
Its sooo crap!
dammmit!

Current Mood: blah

I have decided that yes alex i will get u a guy...
...one one condition, that u find me one!!!
HELL NO NOT ADRIAN!!!!!!
anyway does that sound fair
i know its gonna be hard coz i mean who wants 2 go out with me but ull try real hard i hope!!
im trying 2 find the right guy for you but its hard coz i dont want u going out with someone below ur standards and below you even though that sounds mean.
im sorry to say this but if matt werent such dick to u he would be good on the humour level.
maybe...well go out and find someone!!
i like that idea!!
a clean slat who doesn know us but will get to know the more normal side or we can really freak them out by just being crazy!!!

either way well have fun
so babe let me know

sorry i wasnt home but my bus wasnt in yet
u know my year long travel!!!
ah well cya

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: random fairy tal tunes

not much is happening.
at jens
listening to great music. freakin a guy out
ali go out with leo
jo go out with dean
bec with tim
alex get with matt
sometimes i feel ive got 2 duh duh run away.
so bored
everyone seems 2 rite deep shit but i dont have any. jens a shithead.
kelsey rox my sox
sami is my hero
christine, im better than louie. if he gets my seat ur in big trouble.
ummmmmmmmmmm feel soooooooooo bad 4 leo.
jos party oh yeah and shanz.
so much fun 2 be had

Current Mood: drunk
Current Music: The White Stripes- 7 nation army

My first entry.wwwooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: library tunes